Positive parenting skills

Today, many people use the same style of parenting their parents used while they were growing up, which in most cases is harsh discipline.

Parenting is about us, and not even our children because we are adults and we are the ones to guide and lead our children on the right path. So we need to be able to set a good example they can emulate.

This is not the era of yelling at our kids or inflicting harsh discipline on them because you might lose them.

With the way the world has evolved, the rise of technology, peer pressure, social influence etc, it is very easy for children to be lured into social vices if the home is not conducive in terms of love, attention and care.

If you don’t have a good relationship with your children, they won’t listen to you. They might obey you out of fear and reverence but they might not be on the same page with you in their heart.

So here are some positive parenting tips to help you;

1. You can’t be too loving. You can’t spoil a child with love. Children become spoilt because we give them things in place of our love and attention. We replace the quality time we should spend with them with material things. Unconditional love from parents is the fundamental right of every child, so love cannot be too much. Spend quality time with your children, it doesn’t have to be 10 hours daily, but make sure you are “presently present” when you are with them. Be there not just physically, but mentally too.

2. What you do matters. Children are great copiers, they are very visual and they will easily replicate your actions. Learn not to react on the spur of the moment, always ask yourself if your reaction will produce the result you desire.

3. Be involved in your children’s lives. It takes time and effort, but it’s doable. You might also need to rethink and rearrange your priorities so that you can create a balance between the home front, your children and your career or business.

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your children’s lives as they grow up. Remember, your 2 year old today will be a 10 year old tomorrow, so you need to be on top of your game.

5. Establish and set rules. If you don’t manage your child’s behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning to do so when he is older.

6. Foster your children’s independence. When your child is displaying independence, don’t equate it with rudeness, rebellion or disobedience. From the age of 2, children become self-aware and it is therefore normal for them to want to exercise some form of independence in certain areas of their lives, it is your duty to ensure that he is properly guided in order to harness that level of independence.

7. Be consistent. Force yourself to be consistent. Follow through with everything you say to your children. Don’t say you will do A and then end up doing B without any explanation. If by any chance this happens, you need to explain the reason for the changes to your children. If you are not consistent, they will begin to see you as a joker and they will repeatedly flout your orders.

8. Avoid harsh discipline. Harsh discipline is just a short term way of getting results from your children. Why don’t you go the long term way? Embrace positive discipline and watch your children bloom, because with positive discipline, they know you still love and care about them but with harsh discipline, the reverse is the case.

9. Explain your rules and decisions. Don’t make your rules alone, let your children draw up the rules with you as well as the consequences for breaking every rule. When you do this, the children feel confident and empowered because you have made them feel they also have a say as to the affairs of the home, and the truth is that once children are a part of the rules and consequence formation in the home, they are more likely to obey the rules because you all made those rules together.

10. Treat your child with respect. The fact that you are the parent doesn’t mean the child should be disrespected. Remember, they are learning from you. Always be considerate of your child’s feelings. Put yourself in their shoes and see the world through their eyes sometimes, that way, you will react better and more calmly when they get you upset.

11. Take charge. Don’t accept disrespect from your children, don’t encourage them to be rude. Remember, you’re still the boss of the home, so you should step into your shoes. Yes, you need to be friends with your children, bond and connect with them, but you also need to know where to draw the line, where your boundaries come in so that your children know their place in the home.

12. Pick your battles. It’s not everything you answer to, there are some things that you can’t control, for instance you can’t control a situation where your 2 year old throws himself on the floor and starts throwing a tantrum, you might not know why it started in the first place, so don’t beat yourself up. Stop feeling guilty over everything so you don’t have high blood pressure. There are sometimes you need to overlook certain things for the sake of your sanity, so learn to pick your battles.

13. Read books together everyday. This is a great bonding exercise for you and your children. It also broadens the vocabulary of your children.

14. Encourage “daddy time”. This is very important. The benefits of having an involved father in a child’s life is massive. So fathers should also play active roles in their children’s lives.

15. Create warm memories. Take pictures and record videos of independent play time, birthdays, anniversaries, school celebrations, go on trips, visit places, these memories have a way of strengthening your bond as a family.

16. Teach your children values and life skills. These are the things that would help your child become responsible and self-reliant. Teach your children your beliefs, the things you stand for as a family.

17. Praises and affirmation. Learn to praise and affirm your children. Speak positive words into and over their lives. Tell them how great they are, tell them how blessed you are to have them etc.

If you implement all these…I can assure you that you are on the journey to a beautiful relationship with your children.

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