I RECENTLY hosted a very impactful 7 Day Loving Your Child Challenge in my parenting community and one of the things that stood out for me was the feedback session.
It was a time when the parents gave their children liberty to express themselves on how they honestly felt about the way they were being raised.
For some of the parents, it was their first time. It was a new task and some of them even referred to that day as their “judgement day”…lol.
It was like the children were ready to express themselves, they were only waiting for the opportunity to come, and so the parents heard firsthand some of the feedback they should have been working with.
When it comes to raising children, it has to be a relationship, a journey that carries everyone involved, along.
It shouldn’t be just you making all the decisions, giving instructions, serving the punishment when rules are broken, etc.
Parenting is leadership, and a true leader must carry his followers along.
One of the major ways of carrying everyone along in your parenting is to have family meetings.
Family meetings are a blessing when they are done properly.
It is a time where the family comes together to plan, communicate clearly, give constructive criticism, feedback, reviews, chill, and have fun.
Engaging in this activity can skyrocket the bond and connection you share as a family, encourage teamwork, set goals, etc.
So what should a family meeting look like?
First start off by making everyone feel comfortable and relaxed. If everyone is tense, especially younger children, they might not express themselves, and the objective of the meeting will be defeated.
You can begin by playing a game, maybe a board game, you could ask someone to sing or read a story, just do what works for you according to your peculiarity as a family.
Then you can ask your children to give their feedback, encourage them to freely tell you how they feel about how you treat them, how you respond to them, how you relate with them, just encourage them to let it all out.
You need to take this feedback seriously, do explanations to defend your actions or decide to retrace your steps…just respond to them based on what they tell you.
Now, it’s your turn to share your opinion with them, teach them, talk about the things that are important to you as a family, reiterate the values you stand for.
Afterwards, you can settle any disagreements, then go ahead to plan for the week, the month, or however you want it.
Family meetings shouldn’t be boring, so ensure there are activities to engage everyone and make it fun.
In my years of working with parents and children, family meetings have been a game changer in tons of parent-child relationships.
How would you feel when you’re in a relationship where you can’t express yourself, even if it’s your workplace, you have so many things to say, but there’s just no opportunity to share your thoughts…you don’t feel good about it.
It’s the same with children, they want to tell you they can understand what you say without you yelling at them, they want to tell you that you don’t need to shame or call them names to
get them to realise that what they have done is wrong, they want to tell you they can handle some things by themselves without you trying to micro-manage their lives, children want to tell parents so many things, but not every parent has created an avenue for for this.
So I want to encourage every parent reading this article today, to keep the communication lines open in your home. Let your children know they can talk to you about anything without being punished for speaking up.
Amidst other responsibilities, our duty as parents, is to groom, guide, nurture, coach, and mentor our children, and for this to happen successfully, we must be open to hear feedback from our children, and one of the great and fun ways to have this feedback is by creating time to have family meetings.
For more information on how you can raise a wholesome, well balanced child or if you would like me to speak at your school, church, or other related events, send an email to [email protected] or a whatsapp chat to 08154299992.
You can also connect with me on Instagram (@winninginparenting) www.Instagram.com/winninginparenting for value packed teachings on positive parenting.
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Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Thank you.
Sandra Oluwadare
Parenting Coach/Child Behavior Consultant
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