‘Be patient and understanding with your children. This will make them feel valued and supported. You and the home, should be a safe space for the child. Children will stay locked up in their shell if the atmosphere in the home is not conducive. If a child is confiding in you, and after 2 sentences you scream, the child will not open up further, and might not confide in you anymore. You need to be very patient if nurturing your bond with your children is your priority’
BONDING is a good way to strengthen the parent-child relationship you share with your children.
When you intentionally nurture your bond with them, your relationship will grow in leaps and bounds.
Today, we find lots of children feeling disconnected, going into vices, and feeling less of themselves because they do not share a great bond with their parents.
We have some parents today who are physically present but emotionally absent, and this drives children further apart from their parents.
There are parents who cannot understand why their children would not confide in them, but the answer is not far fetched, because a child you did not bond with as a pre-teen would not automatically make you his confidant as a teen, so the need to create time to bond with children cannot be over emphasised.
Here are 5 ways you can nurture your bond with your children;
Spend quality time with them regularly. This could include engaging in activities such as reading, playing, doing a chore together, simply talking, etc. You need to be in the moment while you spend time with them, that is what transforms the time into a quality one. Don’t allow social media notifications get in the way of the time you spend together. Suspend those activities. Let your children see that they are your priority and that they are worthy of your time and full attention.
Show an interest in your children’s lives and listen actively when they talk to you. This will show them that you care about them and their experiences. Enter their world. Be interested in what interests them. Find common grounds to bond through the activities they enjoy. If they love football, then get some knowledge about football, if they love to dance, then ask them to teach you some dance routines they love. As you do those activities together, the bond you share is been nurtured.
Encourage open communication by setting aside specific times to talk with your children and creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for them to share their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes just listen without interrupting. Listen without jumping in to say…’you see…I told you’. Doing that would only build a wall between you in your relationship. Let them feel comfortable to share their thoughts with you without the fear of being labeled.
Be a good role model by demonstrating healthy communication and relationship skills yourself. Your personality will rub off on your children because children see…children do! Your children will mirror you. So it is not just about you telling them what to do
Be patient and understanding with your children. This will make them feel valued and supported. You and the home, should be a safe space for the child. Children will stay locked up in their shell if the atmosphere in the home is not conducive. If a child is confiding in you, and after 2 sentences you scream, the child will not open up further, and might not confide in you anymore. You need to be very patient if nurturing your bond with your children is your priority.
Show love and affection towards your children by giving them hugs, a pat on the back, ruffling their hair, smiles, verbal affirmations, etc. This will help them feel connected to you emotionally. It is recommended that you give your children a minimum of 4 hugs daily. This boosts their emotional stability.
A great parent child relationship is one that is been nurtured to thrive. To get the best out of every child, you need to build the bond you share.
For more information about raising wholesome, well balanced children, you can reach out to me with the contact details below.
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*Sandra Oluwadare, Parenting Coach/Child Behavior Consultant, Founder, Winning in Parenting
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