‘Children would easily transition into the next activity if you are able to connect with them first, they will gladly listen and obey your instructions if you connect first, they will tell you things about themselves if you can build connection with them’
PARENTING is an assignment. It is a very fulfilling job, but it is not a walk in the park.
As a parent, one of the major pillars of your focus should be on building a thriving and sustainable parent-child relationship between you and your child.
This relationship can only grow when there is a bond and connection going on between you and your child.
Connection is everything. It’s the foundation in your parenting journey.
When you can’t connect with your child, getting their compliance will be difficult.
Everything is going to look like you are swimming against the tide because you both are not on the same page.
It’s the bond you have with your child that will determine the extent of openness you share.
It will determine how effective communication will be in your home.
It will also determine how comfortable your child will be in the home.
Overall, it will determine how effectively you would raise yourself child.
Here are some tips that can help you build and nurture connection with your child;
1. Focus on your child’s positive behaviour. Do not amplify their weaknesses while downplaying their strengths. When you do this, they won’t feel motivated to act right because you keep choosing to see and talk about only what they do wrong.
2. Enter your child’s world. Get involved in their lives. You can’t be in your own world and want to connect with them, you need to understand their perspective and see the world through their eyes. Understand their emotions and validate them. Don’t ignore their feelings, make them understand that you can relate with what they are going through in that heat of the moment. That way, they feel safe in your space because you are not judging or trying to control them, rather, you are lovingly bringing them over to your team so you can help and show them how to work through those emotions.
3. Be interested in their interests. Find common grounds where you can meet. Enjoy doing hobbies together. Have conversations around the things that interest them. You can also bring them into your world by carrying them along in what you are doing.
4. Have physical connections daily. Touch your child, give hugs freely, stroke their cheeks, ruffle their hair, give them a pat on the back, look them in the eye and let them know you love them.
5. Be there for them. Even when it’s time for conversations, be there physically and emotionally. Give them your attention 100%. Disconnect from technology if it would distract you, so you can actively participate in your conversations.
6. Play. Play is therapy. Get down to their level and enjoy some real play. Laugh out loud, do dance routines, tell jokes, have family nights, play hide and seek, rough housing, board games, singing competition, etc. Whatever happens, let laughter be a daily “meal” in your home.
7. Have one on one time with each of your children. Here you both spend time getting to know each other better. You can play, ask questions, have conversations, etc. It’s a time for you to concentrate on one child at a time, to let them know how important they are to you and how much you love and appreciate them. You can both go for a walk, play games, talk, cook, read or do a chore together.
Connection is the bedrock of a successful parent-child relationship.
Children would easily transition into the next activity if you are able to connect with them first, they will gladly listen and obey your instructions if you connect first, they will tell you things about themselves if you can build connection with them.
We live in a fast paced world today, and so many things want our attention, and so we must begin to intentionally build these habits of connection into our daily lives.
*For more information on how you can raise a wholesome, well balanced child or if you would like me to speak at your school, church, or other related events, send an email to [email protected] or a whatsapp chat to 08154299992.
You can also connect with me on Instagram (@winninginparenting) www.Instagram.com/winninginparenting for value packed teachings on positive parenting.
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*Oluwadare is a Parenting Coach/Child Behavior Consultant
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