Steve Rhodes was a singular mind, a disrupter, a visionary, the architect of a musical revolution that not only won acclaim nationally, but also respect and recognition abroad. And on Wednesday 8 April 2026, the Great Mr Steve Rhodes was celebrated on his 100 birthday, by his family, friends, mentees and all those drawn to his mesmerising halo and aura…
Like many others, I remain, even now, almost two decades after his demise, captivated and awed by his magical artistic vibrancy, and the intellectual essence that he truly was. I celebrate a mentor and nurturer of talents. May God rest his kind and gentle soul. Please celebrate with me the 100 years birthday of a man I loved.
Good evening, distinguished ladies and gentlemen. And a special shout to our Papa, Alagba Professor WOLE Soyinka. The Compliments of the Season to you all!
IT is a supreme honour to speak on Pa Steve Rhodes’ posthumous 100 years birthday.
Please allow me to present my ‘Particular’! My name is TAIWO Ajai-Lycett.
To the extent that it is possible for me to be certain, I believe I was the last woman on this Earth, to be in a romantic relationship with the one-and-only, the unflappable, and incomparable, Stephen Omodele Bankole Rhodes!… And though it may sound perverse, I wear the crown with respect and great pride!… Well, if anyone wants to challenge me, please feel free to do so … or forever hold thy peace!
Yes. You’d better believe it. I’m pretty excited to have this amazing privilege to celebrate the great man on his very special day, his Centennial Birthday.
Warren Buffet asks us to look for three attributes in an individual: Intelligence… Energy… and Integrity… If they don’t have the last one, he said, don’t even bother with the first two!
Sages warned that we can have Friendship and we can have Love; but that it is only when we have both together, that it will be a great LOVE. I make bold to say today, that I lost a firm friend, a discerning no-nonsense professional critic of my work. A man who very nearly became my husband.
At a cursory glance, Pa Steve Rhodes might appear rather forbidding and stern, but on closer contact, he was actually, all shades of kindness, all business, professional, intentional and stoic. He was as dependable, and as solid as the Olumo Rock. An altogether admirable human being.
Speaking from personal experience, there’s no way I could ever try to describe, or even ever forget his kindness, and the compassionate role he played at the funeral of my late husband, Thomas Aldridge Lycett… Never, Ever!
On the day of the funeral, I was alone, dazed in catatonic grief. To my surprise, Steve Rhodes, dressed all in white arrived at our home, with Gloria Rhodes at his side, all sympathy and attention, and ready to accompany me to Atan Cemetery for my husband Tom’s burial. Needless to say, the day was a blur, but flanked by two formidable pillars of strength and courage – Steve Rhodes to my right and Gloria to my left – solid and unshakable, my courage was bolstered.
These physical, psychological and emotional parapets said, “We are here. You are not alone”. They gave me succour and courage to face the ordeal, that made my grief a little bit more bearable. It was a generous display of significant and deeply comforting, sympathetic warm embrace. A gesture I would never, ever forget. Elder Steve Rhodes became my great comfort and an emotional protective shield during this traumatic period of my life. His kindness was Epic. From there on he was FAMILY, and could do no wrong by me.
It is said that there was a good reason God gave us two ears, and a mouth. Steve Rhodes, a man of few words, was a practiced listener. A man of style, of breeding, of culture and grace, and all that is good about Nigeria and the Arts. He was cosmopolitan, a true citizen of the world; Erudite. Principled. Disciplined. Dedicated. Subtle. Discreet. Loving. Passionate and Committed – with a deep sense of Humility, Dignity, and above all, Integrity.
Pa Steve Rhodes was the quintessential eponymous gentleman – distinguished, private, suave, urbane, sartorial and inimitable! Legend Extraordinaire!! He was a mentor, a fountain of wisdom, an inspiration to me and many others, and he is much loved and sorely missed by all of us. He was the last of a very special breed of intrepid warriors. If he was a shape – he was a straight line – an arrow. To me who had had the honour of proudly ‘stepping out’ with him, he remains the immortal Mr Steve Rhodes.
Since time immemorial, man has wondered what comes after death. The reasons for our fascination with death, and the varieties of rituals we use to make sense of death, are deep in the essence of our nature. Like some, I would like to cheat death, of course! Silly, I know!!
I believe in Quantum Resurrection which could let us ‘live’ forever in the future. It’s supposed to be possible, and could take the form of Boltzmann brains – self-aware brains floating through space – my Futurist friends, Alvin Tofler and wife Heidi, tell me. This is the idea that in an ‘infinite amount of time, anything is possible’, and that we could reappear back on Earth in the future, as if we’d never been away.
Our myths and rituals – like this memorial Posthumous Centenary for Elder Steve Rhodes – are at minimum, fascinating models of human understanding and creativity – and how we reach across cultures to understand one another, and learn about what we hold sacred.
Perhaps our brains and cultural evolution operate in a way that predisposes us to believe in the soul, spirits and the afterlife to foster community cohesion, and create a sense of peace, as the deaths of family members, and ourselves, approach.
The mind-boggling idea of quantum immortality was just one of my many weird and wonderful examples of beliefs and ideas, about which, an amused late Steve Rhodes, ruefully smiling, with those twinkling eyes would, as he was won’t to do, chastise me ever so gently, about my propensity, as he would say, to have an opinion on virtually everything! … OUCH!!! I always readily enough welcomed his criticism of my professional work, and of my usual wanton, weird verbal refulgence!
After all, he was my Rumi. And hadn’t Rumi, the Persian Philosopher rightly admonished: “If you refuse to be rubbed, how will you be polished?” The urbane Mr Steve Rhodes was my great mentor, a fountain of wisdom, and inspiration.
Well, as it so happened, a decade or so into widowhood, Steve Rhodes offered me a chance to, live again and be, ‘polished’! And so it was, that one afternoon, looking like an earnest young man on a serious mission, he appeared on my door step to ask how I felt about ‘stepping out’ with him.
His nervousness was all too palpable, though his face remained stoic. He told me that Gloria, his daughter, had cautioned about upsetting the applecart, by embarrassing himself, propositioning a woman who already held him in high regard. Well, that sort of equalising wisdom was not likely to make any unfair preference on any impressions made. It only affirmed that every interpretation made on a subject in the outside world is not a fact, but an idea of the world. What we see is not always what we get… So, Steve Rhodes, a Stoic who sees Happiness as a Decision, Not a Goal … threw caution to the wind and Reached out for Love. He Grabbed the bull by the horns, and chose … Happiness. As a sucker for love myself, I totally agreed with him!
Though stunned by his proposal, which came at me, out of the blue, and being an incurable romantic, I recovered quickly enough to imagine what could possibly be more romantic than the amorous attention and intention of an iconic older man – and to boot a humble, urbane honourable gentleman like Steve Rhodes? Like him, I agreed; “All we need is … Love”!
So, we had a long illuminating heart-to-heart talk. I told him I was flattered he thought highly enough of me to make me the proposal, that truly gave a meaningful purpose.
In that moment, the sight of his earnest face, reminded me of what Mahatma Gandhi must have meant when he said: “To give one’s heart is to give all.” I told him how much I loved and respected him; that his dignity and heart, were secure in my affections. I assured him of my fealty at all times, and my readiness to ‘step out’ with him whenever and wherever he needed me.
After he left I sent him a message – a comfort-love-letter, kind of message, wrapped in the lyrics of Barbara Streisand’s PEOPLE, from the Broadway Show “FUNNY GIRL”, which I cited to illustrate the incredible bravery of his incandescent romantic “Toasting”!!!
PEOPLE…
People who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world
We are children needing other children
And yet letting a grownup pride
Hide all the needs inside
Acting more like children than children
Lovers, are very special people
They’re the luckiest people in the world
With one person,
One very special person
A feeling deep in your soul
Says you were half now you’re whole
No more hunger and thirst
First be a person who needs people
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
- Source: LyricFind
This was a sort of “summary” of our conversation, buttressing my assurances and appreciation of his tender feelings.
I know that the end is thought to mean the point after which something no longer exists or … happens. The beginning of something new… So, is there really an end? Surely, there must be life after death?
The fire of life splutter out, eventually, but Love … Love smoulders and burns … and will never die. Every one of us dies alone. But if you love someone… if even a single person remembers you … then, maybe you never really die at all.
Let’s all agree. We have never seen anything like him. A true Stoic, if ever there was one. Seneca and Marcus Aurelius had nothing on him. My Hero. Stephen Bankole Omodele Rhodes, you were a Class Act!
Happy Birthday my ardent Champion!! Good Night. Sun Re!!!
TAL
Dame Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, OON, FSONTA, FU3A
- https://web.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100069802950337
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Screenshot
Images from the April 8 event, courtesy Ed Keazor, lead curator/Director of the Nsibidi Institute
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