A functional sidewalk is not the leftover portion of a road. It is essential public infrastructure—designed for safety, comfort, accessibility, commerce and beauty.
MR Sidewalk appeared before Justice Common Sense seeking to recover possession of himself.
“My Lord, motorists, traders, generators, refuse bins, kiosks, security posts and property owners have occupied me. Pedestrians are now forced onto the road.”
Mr Motorist protested: “There is nowhere else to park.”
“And where should pedestrians walk?” the judge asked.
“My Lord, pedestrians are very flexible people.”
But Madam Pedestrian filed a counterclaim.
She presented sidewalks that were too narrow, dangerously high, broken, obstructed and inaccessible to wheelchair users. At major junctions, vehicles received traffic signals while pedestrians were left to scramble across the road.
“Drivers move under the authority of traffic lights,” she said. “We move under the authority of God.”
Mr Maintenance warned that merely burying open drains would not solve the problem.
“Burying a neglected drain does not cure neglect. It merely hides it.”
Justice Common Sense ruled that sidewalks must be continuous, wide, safe and accessible. Busy junctions must have pedestrian crossings and dedicated signals. Open drains should be covered or placed underground where technically appropriate, while organised trading spaces may be incorporated without blocking movement.
He struck the gavel.
“The road does not belong to the car alone. Every motorist eventually becomes a pedestrian.”
Then came the final judgment:
“In the hierarchy of the street, the pedestrian is king.”
MORAL OF THE SATIRE
A functional sidewalk is not the leftover portion of a road. It is essential public infrastructure—designed for safety, comfort, accessibility, commerce and beauty.
