Journalism in the service of society

Take a walk in my shoes

Introduction

‘I am not an emotional coach nor am I a psychologist but with my almost two decades of experience in advertising/digital marketing backed with strategy and behavioral science, I will be using this medium to share my thoughts on various scenarios where emotional intelligence and people management is critical for you, your business, and the society at large’

UNCERTAINTY beclouds everything we do. Truly, if you are certain that what you believe will be the outcome of your decisions will truly be, then why worry? I guess that way, things won’t be complicated.

Going to bed happy doesn’t determine waking up happy, so every day of our lives is based on assumptions that all plans will turn out positively, and faith will make it possible. Yes, faith!

Hold on, I am not a preacher!

However, in every sane clime, we believe what we see is what truly is but, in most cases, it is not. The smile, the laughter, the celebrations, the dance, the wins, and the handshakes. We see the other guy as lucky, advantaged, blessed, or well-networked while people on the other side of the wins, celebrations, laughter, handshakes, and dance feel justified by their reaction to what they have not. But are we seeing the true picture?

The way I see it, everyone is a winner, and everyone is a loser at different stages of our lives. We’ve been happy for some, and jealous of some, in most cases due to our selfishness. And just before you start thinking, I am human; pause and remember we are all just HUMAN!

Rita Zara said, and I quote “how they treat you defines them. How you treat them defines you”, but in some cases, I want to believe that how they treat you defines their mental situation at that time and vice-versa. Some call it mood.

Therefore, it has become very important to have a continuous discussion on emotional intelligence, especially in this digitally enclaved and enclosed world. Suddenly, we find ourselves in situations where an unmarried 19-year-old is a marriage coach, a 10-year-old is a motivational speaker, emotions don’t matter, and statements or comments are intentionally made to hurt.

When the heart controlling the finger is vile, compassion will be lost in whatever is typed. 

The larger picture of possibilities of what people may be going through with work, families, finances, and education should be a start to understanding reactions or actions. Can you imagine breaking the above factors down further to appreciate what might be truly going on? Work-related stress could be from a superior, a colleague, a subordinate/junior, a client, a partner, a supplier, or even something as little as getting to the office.

Let me paint a quick picture here.

Alex is a 24-year-old account executive at an advertising agency whose resumption time is 8:30 am. After getting home at 10:48 pm because he closed late sorting out and delivering on a client’s deadline, only to realise that the pumping machine in the house is bad and there is only one bucket of water in his bathroom; so, this guy got home stressed hoping to take a hot shower and go to bed for a well-deserved rest in anticipation of the next day’s work just to be faced with another stress. He still needs to figure out how to get up early at 5:00 am to be able to get to work by 8:30 am; otherwise, HR will be waiting.

Life! Isn’t it? We say it’s normal but don’t ever forget our individual reactions to situations will be different; always.

What do you think his state of mind would be at that moment if he had to deal with psychological or emotional discussions? Or if he was scrolling through his IG page just to distract himself from his problem and sees a message from someone who says “life is fun. You are ungrateful when you complain”

If he is one who passes the stress on, then you can imagine how vicious his comment will be, but really, he doesn’t have to comment. Everyone has a right to their opinion, especially on their own personal page. We are all going through different issues in our lives but passing them on makes us insensitive and selfish. That is why as much as there are entertaining and educating things on social media, comments on posts are vile and hurtful. Before you insult, judge, condemn or mock anyone on his/her page in reaction to their personal post which is based on their opinion or how they feel, pause, and walk-in their shoes.

A positive attitude changes everything. Let positivity take over because a good attitude is good medicine.

I am not an emotional coach nor am I a psychologist but with my almost two decades of experience in advertising/digital marketing backed with strategy and behavioral science, I will be using this medium to share my thoughts on various scenarios where emotional intelligence and people management is critical for you, your business, and the society at large.

Your comments and critics will be appreciated.

*Olateju Ogunyomi is a Marcoms professional and behavioural analyst. She left Ogilvy Nigeria in 2020 to start her own agency. She is an APCON member and was a member of the AAAN women in Advertising committee, and the AAAN Event committee. She is currently the CEO of Aspora Nigeria Limited, a Digital Marketing, Strategy, and Consultancy agency.

Comments are closed.

Naija Times