By Jerry Adesewo
‘To take it like a man, in this case, Is to bottle up your pain. To be macho, and not show that you are in any form of pain or Danger… society has taught men to bottle up emotions and not share their pains or would be ridiculed by society. It does not matter how deep the pain is, a man is expected to be a man. Don’t cry. Don’t lament!’
ISSUES of mental health are central to Ifeoma Igwe’s play, ‘Aye Wale’, as it brings to the fore, once again, the pain suffered by men in society, which they are never expected to speak about because they must ‘take it like a man!’
One of the featured plays at the 2nd Beeta Arts Festival in Abuja, December 2-4, the play tells the story of Wale (played by Abdul Fatai Otori) and the torturous life he lived, just because he’s a man and there are certain expectations the society placed on men. No matter what happened, men-must-not be-seen-crying
To take things like a man is to ‘not respond to physical or emotional pain in an emotional way; to keep emotions and actions under control. Growing up, it was okay for a girl child to fall or get injured and cry, but for the boy child, it is an abomination. To take it like a man, in this case, Is to bottle up your pain. To be macho, and not show that you are in any form of pain or Danger.
Same way, society has taught men to bottle up emotions and not share their pains or would be ridiculed by society. It does not matter how deep the pain is, a man is expected to be a man. Don’t cry. Don’t lament!
Wale, drunk with love, agreed to marry his heartthrob, Carol (Dolapo Bankole) despite her revelation that she did not plan to have children. And this was without recourse, of course, to his overbearing mother (Oluwaseun Odukoya, popularly known as Aunty Shine-Shine the Storyteller).
Mama Wale became impatient with Caro’s inability to bless the family with a baby, a grandchild she so much lusted after that she plotted with Funmi (Oke Damilola Deborah), a friend of Wale’s Sister, Adunni (Stella Joseph) to lace Wale’s food with drugs during one of his visits to her mother’s place. Wale had sex with her and according to Mama Wale, she became pregnant.
The news of Funmi’s purported pregnancy threw a spanner in Wale and Caro’s relationship, with the last straw served when suddenly, Caro got a call that the house they live in is to be taken over by the bank as Wale had used it as collateral for a loan. Instantly, she ended whatever remained of the marriage and moved out.
‘Aye Wale’ is an everyday story, beautifully retold. And unlike the linear arrangement in which the play was written, the Director, Damilola Nelson, recrafted the plot beautifully deploying flashback technique, which helps to fit the story to the unconventional stage for which it was produced.
“The play was written for the conventional stage, in that it was linear and would require several scene changes as it progresses. However, upon seeing the stage, I had to return to the script, to re-devise it to suit the stage. Hence, the narrative technique,” said the director, Nelson.
The flashback technique enhances the audience’s understanding of the play, and, sure, the playwright would be proud of the director’s ingenuity. The audience was adequately carried along, as Wale tells his story.
The bar area which served as the stage, is a loose model of the popular ‘theatre in the round’, with the audience seated all around the stage(s), and in some cases, you find one or two members of the audience stumbling through the stage without knowing it, which of course, is one of the challenges of theatre in non-traditional spaces. The pillars in te venue also became obstructive, but not enough to take away from the overall beauty of the experience.
Unlike the conventional stage, there was no need for lights as the performances were held early evening. And as against running behind the stage, or behind the curtain, actors made their costume changes right there on the stage, in the full glare of the audience.
With the flashback technique, the play started at its very end, where Wale and his friends, Eugen (Thin Tall Tony) and Chuks (Desmond Okiei) met at a bar after a long absence, and from there, the story commenced as he opened up to tell about what he had gone through in recent times.
MENTAL health is real. In fact, cases of mental health are on the rise around the world. This is more reason it should not be taken lightly. Why die in silence, in the name of taking it like a man, if in sharing the problem, even if you don’t get solution, you would achieve closure?
Besides the central theme of mental health, another soft theme in ‘Aye Wale’ is that of rape or sexual assault. Is this another case of Taking it like a man? Do men get raped? Will anyone take the news of a man getting raped seriously?
This was how Mama Wale cautioned her daughter, Adunni when she pointed out that what her mother and Funmi did to Wale was rape, an act of sexual harassment. “Go and carry megaphone and announce that a woman raped your brother, let us see if anyone will take you seriously. You want to make your brother the laughingstock of society and bring shame to this family”. And she was right.
No one would have taken him seriously. Not even the agencies saddled with protection of law and order. In fact, his friends would have laughed it off and called him some derogatory names. Just because it is unheard of, does not mean it is not happening. But because you are a man, you must take it and move on.
“Take it like a man. It’s why I didn’t tell you guys when I lost my house or when Carol left me. Or that I had to sell my car just to afford a small place. When the incident with Adunni’s friends happened, Carol had wanted me to sue my mother and the girl but I refused because I was taking it like a man. It was why I didn’t cry during my father’s funeral…” With those touching lines, spiced with deep-seated bitterness, Wale let it all out as his friends watched with shock and sympathy.
A problem shared is half-solved. Upon sharing his problems, Wale not only rid himself of that suicidal feeling that lurks in his head, but his friends rallied around him immediately, with Chuks offering that he moved in with him in the mean time.
‘Aye Wale’ is a good family play, though, with a theme as dark as mental health, it still finds room for humour. The character, Mama Wale was a delight to watch, with the audience anticipating her entry, and of course, applauding her exit.
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